Today has been absolutely wretched. I am not even sure where to begin, it is all so jumbled in my head.
Oh, that blasted man! How he infuriates me. I wish I could forget him – rinse him away with the falling rain. But I cannot – not even in the face of so much hatred and distrust! Not even when another man shows his interest so plainly as does Adrian. Dear, sweet Adrian.
He is not a part of my anguish, of course. Not this time, at least – though eventually I must face the truth of that situation.
As if the Duke’s behavior yesterday was not reprehensible enough, what I was subjected to today was unconscionable. To think, that pompous ass and I used to be friends. How did he hide his disdain for me as we grew up, spent almost every waking moment together?
Well, he made it perfectly clear today that we are no longer friends; that we never truly were. In fact, he made it clear he sees me as less than. I believe he might think better of his precious sheep than he does of me.
And still, my heart races when he enters my sight. His voice is velvet across my skin. And my brain swears all my problems will melt away if only he will turn those steely eyes upon me.
This is a problem, one I do not know how to resolve? And no one with whom to discuss it!